Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Cricket Inside My Head

I haven't felt a high level of pain, in quite some time now.  Since getting off all meds in November, and the tremor slowing tremendously, my pain level has been pretty low.  I haven't needed trigger point therapy in months, and have been able to be far more active.  But a few days ago, things started clicking and grinding, and tightening up.  Today I've felt desperate to try anything to ease the discomfort.  So far, the only thing that is comforting, is telling myself "compared to the level of pain I was feeling everyday, six months ago, this is minimal."
It is something I have taken for granted in the recent months.  When I was in pain all the time, I found healthy and effective ways to manage it.  I did hypnosis, trigger point injections, and aquatic therapy.  I meditated, did self massage, took ibuprofen, and allowed my body to rest when it needed to.  Using all these techniques, on a good day, the pain could get as low as a 7 or 8.  I was happy when I had a day with the pain that low.  These days, a good day on the pain scale is usually around a 2.  Since the past couple of days, that 2 has crept closer to an 8, I have been trying everything in my arsenal to bring it down.
At this point, I am ready for someone to strap me onto an inversion table, just to get enough traction on my neck to make the clicking stop.  It's like having a cricket trapped in your house, and hearing it chirp incessantly, but not being able to find it.  I hear this low snapping noise at the base of my skull, but no matter how I position myself, or stretch or massage, it keeps going.  Being in pain is irritating, but being in pain AND hearing nonstop noise is enough to drive anyone insane.  I don't need to be any more loony than I already am.
Until I am able to get in for trigger point injections, I'm going to have to manage.  Being upset that I'm in more pain than usual, isn't going to lessen it at all.  It'll probably make it worse.  So I'm going to take my "things have definitely been worse" attitude, and use the tools I know work at making things better in the moment.  There will be a hot shower, hypnosis, stretching, a good night's sleep, and hopefully when I wake up in the morning, there will be no clicking, and even less pain.  If not, my next blog might be about a failed attempt at a homemade inversion table.  You never know.

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