Create a New Familiar

Change is hard for me. I like the familiar. I like routine. I like to make lists, and get up at the same time everyday, and I like to be in control. When things in my life are "out of order," it is physically uncomfortable. I feel confused and out of sorts when plans I have made, or how I expect something to go gets switched up. Despite practicing skills every single day, I still experience distress in life's changes.
The unexpected scares me, and I often hold on tightly to what I know...even if it's uncomfortable. The practice of letting go and allowing what is, is one of the skills I struggle with the most. Holding onto the way I think things should be can keep me stuck in a rut, that in actuality, I want to get out of.
Sometimes I focus so much on what the "problem" is, that I block my ability to find the solution. Sometimes, I get hyper-focused on what the solution or outcome should be (or what I want it to be), that I block myself from seeing that the problem may actually just be my opportunity to grow, and I don't need to fix it.  I get caught up in the judgments of myself and others, and my view narrows. I stop seeing the whole picture, and get fixated on keeping things the same.
When I teach, I use phrases like "there is comfort in the discomfort" and "change is the only constant." When my group brings up their own fears about doing things differently, or begin to voice their willfulness for trying a new skill, I identify completely with them. The idea of changing my own patterns of behavior, or shifting my perspective is scary! Sometimes it causes so much distress within me that I resist moving forward,  just so I can stay in the comfort of what I know.
This morning, when I sat in my three minute meditation, the idea of creating a new familiar came to me. Approaching change and newness with curiosity, rather than with fear and judgment. Choosing to view what is uncomfortable as opening new doors to opportunities of success, rather than choosing to see them as doors that lead to failure and discomfort. Instead of holding on so tightly to what I know, I can let go, and open myself up to receive something better.