Ingenious Improvisations

 I haven't found an inversion table yet, and I have to wait until tomorrow to get trigger point injections, but I have come up with some pretty innovative ideas on how to, at the very least, distract from any pain I've been experiencing.  To be honest, I was kind of hoping I would be able to build an awesome contraption that would allow my neck to release, and could fold up neatly and be stored under the bed, or in my purse, but my brilliance must have been impeded by the nagging ache and clicking going on.  I'm slightly disappointed I'm not reporting on how my makeshift design for a collapsible inversion table is being picked up by QVC.  But we all can't be good at everything, now can we?  So I improvised.
After an entire day of feeling like I wish I could rip my own head off, I decided to hang upside down off the bed.  I don't know why it took me so many days to figure that one out, but it definitely helped, at least momentarily.  For the few minutes that I could withstand all the blood rushing to my head, I was able to obtain some relief while I lengthened my spine, and let gravity ease the grinding in my neck.  I'm sure if anyone walked in on me they would think I'd lost my mind, which may be partially true, but for those few minutes of relief, I really don't care what anyone else thinks.  Unfortunately, it's only possible to hang upside down for just so long.  Once my eyes and cheeks started throbbing, it was time to move on.
There was more stretching, more hot showers, more distracting, and by the time Friday evening rolled around, it was time to get serious.  I had to call in the big guns.  I wasn't sure how well it was going to work, but if I didn't try, then I would never know.  So I took a leap of faith, and my therapy bitch and I went to Dairy Queen.  There are a lot of options at DQ, but none of them specifically stated that they would ease neck pain, so I had to take a chance, and go with my gut.  Heath bar Blizzard.  Chocolate toffee crunchies swirled in with vanilla soft serve?  If it didn't help my neck, at least my mouth would be happy.
And my mouth was happy.  The best part though, was that while I ate my ice cream concoction, I had to chew all those little toffee bits and I couldn't hear the clicking going on at the base of my skull.  Talk about two birds with one stone!  Or three even!  An ice cream headache is an excellent way to distract from any pain.  I don't know why they haven't thought about prescribing Dairy Queen at pain management clinics.  Oh... right, because we live in a society where moderation is practically unknown...but I digress.  The ice cream worked for me, and I still have half of it in the freezer, just in case I need another dose.
I'll be honest.  I can't spend all of my days hanging from my bed, eating ice cream.  One, because it's not good for the digestive system, and two, because they are helpful only in the short term.  I ended up taking a muscle relaxer the other night to ensure a comfortable night's sleep, and I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow for the longer lasting effects of trigger point injections.  Hopefully, in conjunction with my ingenious improvisations, I'll be pain free, and only eating ice cream because it's summer, and hanging off the bed because I'm passed out from having a good time.